Sportsgraphic: Greatest Undefeated Seasons In Sports History

With the University of Kentucky men’s basketball team just four games away from completing a perfect 40-0 season, Onion Sports takes a look back at the greatest undefeated runs in sports history. 1971 Nebraska Cornhuskers: The Univers…






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Nude, Ash-Streaked Dick Vitale Proclaims This What March Madness All About

CLEVELAND—Shrieking at the top of his lungs as he scuttled through Quicken Loans Arena during a game between Wichita State and Notre Dame, sources confirmed Thursday that a fully nude, ash-streaked Dick Vitale was observed loudly proclaiming that th…






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American Voices: Parents Let Kids Play On Vietnam War Memorial

Parents visiting Washington, D.C. with their kids this week sparked outrage and controversy by encouraging them to climb and play on the Vietnam Women’s Memorial, which honors U.S.






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Congressman Knows Regular Lobbyist’s Order Without Even Having To Be Told

WASHINGTON—Noting that the Valero Energy representative had been coming to his office for more than a decade now, Sen.






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Senior Citizen Keeps Mind Active By Contemplating Death

PORTLAND, ME—In an effort to remain mentally sharp well into her golden years, local senior citizen Evelyn Gordon, 86, told reporters Thursday she keeps her mind active by regularly contemplating her rapidly approaching death.






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Master Architect Constructs Most Structurally Innovative Pile Of Dirty Dishes To Date

LINCOLN, RI—Far surpassing the ambitions of any of his previous creations, master architect David Prawer has completed his most structurally innovative pile of dirty dishes to date, sources confirmed Thursday.






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