American Voices: McDonald’s Debuts Big Mac Clothing Line

McDonald’s debuted a new lifestyle product line featuring clothes printed with patterns of Big Mac burgers as part of its “imlovinit24” corporate marketing campaign, which involved staging 24 McDonald’s-themed stunts over 24 hours.






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Kentucky Cancels Practice For NBA Draft Suit Fitting

CLEVELAND, OH—Following the Wildcats’ 78-39 victory over West Virginia in the Sweet 16, Kentucky sources confirmed that coach John Calipari had canceled Friday’s practice so the players could get fitted for NBA draft suits.






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Troubling Report Finds Dreamily Sliding Down Back Of Door After Kissing Date On Porch Plummets 78%

WEST LAFAYETTE, IN—According to a troubling report released Friday by Purdue University, instances of women dreamily sliding down the back of their front door after kissing a date on the porch of their residence have plummeted 78 percent.






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Infographic: The Pros And Cons Of Paying College Athletes

As college athletic programs continue to generate millions of dollars in revenue for their schools, advocates for student-athletes have begun pushing for schools to pay their players, while opponents say that compensating athletes has the potential to






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Study Finds Growing Number Of Americans Would Be Comfortable With Female Pep Boy

PHILADELPHIA—Providing further insight into the country’s rapidly shifting attitudes about gender, a study released Friday by the Pew Research Center found that a growing number of Americans would be comfortable with a female Pep Boy.






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College Newspaper Staff Know Exactly How They Would Respond If Editorial Freedom Challenged

NEW BRITAIN, CT—Calling a strong independent press “absolutely vital” to a democratic society, the staff of The Recorder, Central Connecticut State University’s student-run newspaper, confirmed Friday they know exactly how t…






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Siblings Quietly Relieved Oldest Brother Setting Bar So Low

CHARLOTTE, NC—Explaining how the 25-year-old’s personal and academic shortcomings had made their relationship with their parents far easier, siblings Eric and Theresa Conrad confided to reporters Friday that they were quietly relieved their ol…






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American Voices: Gamers Threaten To Pull $50 Million Gaming Convention If State Signs Anti-Gay Bill

The organizers of Gen Con, the biggest gaming convention in the world, which is expected to bring more than $50 million to the state of Indiana this year, threatened to cancel the convention if state legislators sign a bill into law that would allow busin…






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