Drew Droege As Chloë Sevigny Is Everything We Need In 2017

We have a feeling we’re going to need to laugh a lot to get through 2017. Luckily we have comedians like Drew Droege who help make each day worth getting out of bed.

For years Droege has gifted the world videos in which he impersonates actress Chloë Sevigny and uses her persona to hilariously explain different holidays and human experiences.

For his first clip of 2017, Droege’s Sevigny explains grandparents ― or as she would say, gráunperaunce ― and it’s already one of our favorites.

In the past, the gay comedian has used the Chloë character to teach us about Easter, Halloween and even how to model.

Droege is also the comedic genius behind “Not Looking,” a spoof of the short-lived, HBO drama “Looking,” and most recently starred in the one-man show “Bright Colors and Bold Patterns,” directed by long-time friend Michael Urie.

Head here to see more from Droege ― and a big THANK YOU to him for keeping the Chloë character alive!

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Comedian Bill Burr Has A Creative Solution To Environmental Problems

Comedian Bill Burr has an idea to take on any environmental problem, but it might be hard to put it into action. Here’s where it gets dark.

“It would probably be a good thing if most of us died,” Burr told host Conan O’Brien, as the “Conan” host and his audience burst out in shocked laughter. Real talk.

“Let’s hear him out!” O’Brien says, as if you ever needed to worry about Burr holding back his opinions. Check out the rest of the comic’s ideas in the video above.

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This Mandy Moore Shower Mosaic In NYC Apartment Makes Us Feel Things

Few could argue the genius that is Mandy Moore. She made a seamless transition from pop starlet to film star to TV icon and, most recently, she’s been seen in a shower in Queens, New York.

Twitter user @walkerkaplan tweeted a fantastic text exchange with a friend of his wherein they discuss how another friend had purchased an apartment in Queens with a fascinating mosaic:

Yes, that is in fact Mandy Moore in a bikini on a shower wall.

The Twitter user confirmed to New York Magazine that the photo of this “Candy”-era Moore is “legit as far as he knows.”

Other Twitter users sent in their own mosaic findings and, while great in their own right, they still pale in comparison to the glory that is Moore.

The world is beautiful and weird and Mandy Moore is a queen. 

(H/T NYMag)

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Watch This Bunny Play Jenga Like A Boss

Beware the bunnies, people. Sure, they’re cute and fuzzy. But at least one will kick your butt in Jenga.

And yet we humans remain so confident in our Jenga superiority.

Stupid humans.

h/t Tastefully Offensive

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Kid Bewilders Paul Ryan By Dabbing For Dad’s Swearing-In Photo

One young man just grabbed his 15 minutes of fame by “dabbing” during his father’s mock congressional swearing-in ceremony on Tuesday. 

Cal Marshall was holding the Bible between his father, newly elected Rep. Roger Marshall (R-Kan.), and House Speaker Paul Ryan. As everybody else turned to smile for the camera, Cal lifted one arm in the dance move/meme known as dabbing. 

Ryan was clearly confused by the gesture, as seen in the C-SPAN footage above. “You all right?” he asked the young man, nudging him with his arm. Still, Cal stood firmly in his dab until Ryan questioned him further.

“Can you put your hand down?” the speaker asked. “Are you gonna sneeze?”

Cal eventually lowered his arm and grinned for the official photo-op.

After the video began attracting attention and was posted to Twitter Moments, Cal tweeted that he “did not think this would happen.” Also via Twitter, Marshall assured the speaker that his son has been grounded.

Not to be left out, Ryan tweeted about the moment, admitting his bewilderment. “Just finished swearing-in photos,” he wrote. “Nearly 300 members. Countless cute kids. Still don’t get what dabbing is, though.”

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Shelter Cats Playing On iPads Are A Glimpse Into Our Feline-Ruled Future

It turns out you can teach an old cat new technology.

Felines in the care of the Regina Humane Society in Saskatchewan, Canada, now enjoy playing interactive games on iPads — usually games that feature moving fish, mice or insects that the cats try to “catch” with their paws.

“Cats love to hunt and stalk things, and what these programs do is they give the cats the opportunity to do that on the iPads,” the humane society’s executive director, Lisa Koch, told the CBC.

The humane society started experimenting with the cat-oriented iPad games in the fall. Shelter spokesman Bill Thorn said they incorporated the games as a formal part of the volunteer program in late 2016.

“It is geared toward our younger volunteers (as young as 12 years) as the technology aspect appeals to them,” Thorn told The Huffington Post in an email.

Thorn noted that the cats have other toys to play with, as well — including items hand made by volunteers — and the iPads are just one method the shelter uses to keep the cats happy and calm.

The most surprising thing about introducing the iPads, Thorn said, was how good the cats seem to be at sharing.

“We usually use the iPads in our communal areas where there are multiple cats roaming freely in one room,” he said. “They will gather around it and almost take turns playing with it by chasing the images on the screen. Often, this eventually leads to them playing with each other, which is a nice bonus in that they are not only playing the game, but increasing their socialization with each other too!”

While Thorn said he’d recommend people try out iPad games with their own cats at home, they’re not for every feline. Some cats at the shelter, he said, were unimpressed. 

“The key is to provide toys and activities that your pet likes and engages in – that could be an iPad or a simple ball or other toy,” he said.

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Dog Shamed By Owner For Loud Snoring

Sometimes we don’t realize how our actions affect others until we’re shown a video of ourselves acting terrible. That’s what happened to this rude dog.

In a video uploaded by YouTuber Tal Solomon on Monday, Solomon bravely confronts his obnoxious dog, who clearly doesn’t give a heck about disruptively snoring. 

Solomon decides to play a recording of his pooch previously snoring, which seems to startle the dog awake. The dog looks at the video, then at the camera, as if to say “omg is that me?????”

Yes, dog. It’s you.

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CisWhiteMale.com Redirects To Jonathan Franzen’s Facebook Page

It’s long been known that Jonathan Franzen hates the internet and, well, the internet doesn’t exactly love him either.

From his writing about women to his comments on being a man (”It’s like there’s no way to make myself not male”) to his lack of a diverse friend group (”I don’t have very many black friends”), Franzen hasn’t done much to ingratiate himself with the people of the World wide Web.

As such, it’s no surprise that the polemical writer of works such as The Corrections and Purity was most recently the butt of a joke.

This isn’t a drill: Ciswhitemale.com actually takes you to Franzen’s Facebook fan page.

Also, if you search the ciswhitemale.com site on Google, you get this delightful search result: 

2017 is going to be a hoot, isn’t it? 

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