How To Botch A Wedding Toast In 5 Words

Wedding season is upon us once again, folks. And yes, that means having to sit through some potentially awkward toasts at the reception.

In that spirit, @Midnight host Chris Hardwick and his team got the hashtag #5WordWeddingToast trending on Twitter earlier this week. We rounded up some of the best (worst?) responses below:

Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Weddings on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. Sign up for our newsletter here.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

The Source Article

The Top Ten Ways to Select the Republican Candidate for President

2015-05-26-1432680284-361808-telephone.jpg

Oy Vey! Does the Republican Party have a problem! It’s the large and unwieldy field of aspiring presidential nominees, all of whom want to appear in upcoming debates. But space is limited. Who should be left out? Who should get the call? And how should that be determined? Such a dilemma!

A Modest Proposal

The answer is simple. Have candidates compete on the Nation’s top reality TV shows. It’s a format they should all feel comfortable with. The GOP, after all, has had a long and contentious relationship with reality. And reality shows are to reality what Fox News is to news.

The qualities we are looking for and the challenges… Drum roll please!

#10: Loveable Ignorance

2015-05-26-1432670392-2364386-fifthgrader.jpg

Can’t distinguish an opinion from a fact? Consider that a plus. In this game, it pays to be a dumb-ass. Three things: Deficit is really spelled with a “c.” There really is no “e” at the end of “potato.” Now what was that third thing?

#9: Specialized Knowledge

2015-05-26-1432670592-3347716-jeopardy.jpg

You really have to know something however. What better than a substantial grasp of trivial information and a lack of understanding as to how those isolated facts actually relate to one another, or the larger context in which they exist? Most important of all is your ability to answer a question with a question.

#8: Down-Home Persona

2015-05-26-1432670787-4145280-DuckDynasty.jpg

Where’s Joe the plumber when we really need him? Demonstrate your ability to create the facade of ordinariness. Live in a duck blind. Shoot your partner inadvertently in the head without killing him. Be one of the people, a down-home non-pretentious kind of guy, dislike modern technology, disdain formal education, hate gays, extol your Christian heritage, not reveal your entitled background. Ignore charges by those who claim to have known you “before you were a virgin.”

#7: A Trim and Sleek Image

2015-05-27-1432764054-3142789-biggestloser2.jpg

How fast can you discard embarrassing baggage without causing a stir? It begins with your ability to maintain a trim physical image despite suffering through a series of greasy spoon specials, fried chicken dinners and pancake breakfasts.* That’s only one aspect of this grueling challenge, however. You also have to avoid discussing matters of substance. There’s no place for weighty issues if you hope to wage a successful campaign. Discard them as fast as you did the pounds.

*Note: Tummy tucks not allowed.

#6: Financial Acumen

2015-05-26-1432671311-7401053-sharktank.jpg

Every viable candidate has to fully understand the world of commerce — how money works and how to work with it. Create a cockamamie product, pass it off as something viable; and proceed to convince a group of high bank-rollers to invest in it. Your product is actually a piece of crap, but that shouldn’t really matter. It’s only a pretext for getting their support. The only thing that matters is you. That it is what they are really buying into, and it is your job is to convince them that that it is in their best interests to do so, e.g., you really understand that things do go better with Koch.

#5: Guts and Grit

2015-05-26-1432671526-8803888-amazingrace.jpg

Test your ability to improvise on the run, negotiate foreign landscapes and confront unforeseen challenges. Traversing several continents, you will participate in: a scavenger hunt in Benghazi, leap into a corporate polluted river, bungee jump across an oil spill, sit for a home-made video, clad in an orange jumpsuit in the middle of a desert, and host a social luncheon of spare ribs and beer with Sunnis and Shiites at a Ramadi Inn.

#4: Thrift and Parsimony

2015-05-26-1432672381-2019192-topchef.jpg

Show the voters in no uncertain terms how little the average person really needs in order to have a healthy and fulfilling life. Working from a random selection of food scavenged from a dumpster, concoct a nutritious five course meal,* representing all major food groups, to be served to others.

*Note: Ketchup does not count as a vegetable.

#3: Obliviousness

2015-05-26-1432672441-5427037-survivor.png

Demonstrate how easily a person can shut out the real world and ignore real world conditions. Live for a week in a boarded up house in the Middle of Detroit, as part of a collective with residents of the area, work in a fast-food joint and bear responsibility for several underage children. Your ability to adjust to these conditions and be at home with them will be judged by the residents who will vote members off as they cease to adapt.

#2a: Flexibility and Openness to Change

2015-05-26-1432673609-164852-makeover.jpg

How easily can you accept erasure of your past and the creation of a new public image? A professional Spin Doctor will work his miraculous skills on you, transforming your drab ordinary self into a glamorous and attractive personage. Roll with the punches as he redoes all previous positions, including statements in print, public utterances and voting record, making embarrassing blemishes vanish in a flash — especially those gained in earlier primaries. Winners will feel neither shame nor discomfort as they segue comfortably into their new policy positions and new persona.

#2b: Nimbleness and Dexterity

2015-05-26-1432673237-2903537-dancing.jpg

You can’t represent the party well without being able to evade major issues and promote wedge issues with panache.This means being able to think on your feet; avoid missteps, stay a step ahead of the media by keeping your foot out of your mouth, and doing a quick shuffle while answering questions. Above all, avoid stepping on the toes of supporters.

# 1: Je ne sais quoi

2015-05-26-1432673137-970180-bachelorette.jpg

Do you really have that certain something? Enough to woo and win the hand of a charming young vixen?… Guess who?

_____________________

Follow Larry Paros @
insomanywords.net
Take words with Larry @
twitter.com/wordswithlarry
facebook.com/wordswithlarry
pinterest.com/wordswithlarry

More fun with words by Larry
bawdylanguage.com

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

The Source Article

Social Media: The Next Generation of the Salem Witch Trials

Everybody’s heard of the Salem Witch Trails of 1692-1693, right? If you haven’t, you need to get your ass to a library right ASAP. Many history teachers use the Salem Witch Trials to teach their students about the dangers of what can happen when mass hysteria takes over communities. Most of us think when hearing these stories: “this is crazy, it could never happen in modern day.” But, with social media keeping us more connected than ever and Americans getting offended at nearly everything they read — it’s almost as if we’ve forgotten the lessons our history teachers tried to instill in us as children because the Salem Witch Trails happen everyday on our computer, we just don’t realize it.

This past weekend, my Facebook page was sent into a tailspin when someone in Alabama saw a t-shirt with an upside-down American flag on it for sale at a PacSun outlet store. Torch carrying Americans took to social media to express their outrage. With a thirst for blood not yet quenched, (it was a slow Memorial Day news weekend) people took to social media to all-but-destroy PacSun, anyone who wore their clothing and anyone associated with the brand. It was a witch trial of a different sort. I like to call it: “#tshirtgate2015.” Let’s take a look:

Salem 1692: Two girls begin rolling around on the floor, seemingly possessed. When a doctor can’t figure out what’s wrong with them (there is no physical evidence of illness) he jumps to the logical conclusion that witches have been f-ing their shit up. Because…what else could it possibly be?

Modern Day: Someone shopping in an outlet store in Alabama (I could make a joke, but that one just wrote itself), sees a t-shirt with an upside flag on it for sale at a PacSun. This outrages said shopper. They take a picture of it and post it on social media, expressing said outrage. Because there is literally nothing else horrible going on in the world today (black kids getting shot by cops for no reason, global warming, world hunger — no time for that!) the image goes viral. PacSun is ruining America with their upside-down American flag shirt. [An upside down American flag is a signal for extreme danger of life or property.] How could PacSun do this on Memorial Day when we are supposed to be honoring our veterans by getting blackout drunk and having a BBQ? WTF PacSun? WTF, indeed.

Salem 1692: Word spreads that two girls have been overcome by the power of witchcraft and other girls in town begin to say that they have been having similar issues. Soon thereafter, several of the towns most undesirable women (beggars, non-churchgoers and women of rival families of the girls who were original possessed) are arrested for witchcraft.

Modern Day: Word spreads that PacSun is selling a t-shirt with an upside down flag on it via social media and others begin to say that they too are offended by said t-shirt. Soon thereafter, several of the worlds most prestigious media outlets begin covering the story because a t-shirt with an upside-down American flag on it is by far the most disgraceful thing that has ever happened (today) and someone must pay. Meanwhile, somewhere in California the creators of House of Cards are probably chilling being like: “Um, an upside-down American flag has been our shows logo for three years and no one has said word one about it. Way to pick and chose, guys.”

Salem 1692: The women convicted of witchcraft are arrested and tried before a court of law. They really don’t stand a chance because in 1692 America, you can be executed for witchcraft based on the hearsay of a group of teenager girls.

Modern Day: PacSun is put on the stand and the judge, jury and executioner is the general public. They really don’t stand a chance because in 2015 America, you can have your life ruined or entire business crumble based on a biased group of people with loud mouths and nothing better to do.

Salem 1692: Many of the women convicted say they love the Lord, would never dance with the devil and have never practiced witchcraft. It doesn’t matter as the court has little-to-no evidence to convict them, so being practical, they send them to their deaths. On the flip, several of the women convicted throw their hands in air, give up and say “fuck it, I’m a witch.” Thinking they’ll be exonerated if confessing to witchcraft, they lie and say they’re witches. Well played ladies, but it doesn’t work. They too, are executed.

Modern Day: PacSun is put in a difficult situation. Apparently everyone fighting this social media war is either a direct descendent of Betsy Ross, a veteran or American flag aficionado and will not relent. This upside-down flag situation is the worst thing that’s happened in American history. Possibly worse than 9-11. If they don’t apologize, they will look like assholes. But this is 2015 and you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Soon after #tshirtgate2015 starts, PacSun apologizes, basically saying, “we give up, we fucked up. Sorry, we’ll pull the shirt from stores.” But it’s not enough. It’s never enough. People are still pissed and call for an all-out boycott of PacSun. Why stop at accepting an apology when you can financially cripple a company and possibly put hundreds if not thousands of people who are just trying to make ends meet out of work? It’s not like you’ve ever done something wrong or made a mistake in real life and asked for forgiveness. Meanwhile, forget trying to put this amount of effort into fighting for equal pay for women — all affiliated with PacSun must pay.

Salem 1692: Mass hysteria reaches a fever pitch and the young girls begin claiming that everyone from infants to clergymen to the elderly are witches. Things have gotten out of hand then suddenly — it all stops. People cease claiming accusations of witchcraft and the townspeople return to their everyday affairs as if nothing happened.

Modern Day: Mass hysteria reaches a fever pitch. People are pissed. Social media statuses such as: “How un-American of Pac Sun!” “They should close all of their stores!” “I will never shop there again!” clutter Facebook and Twitter. Then suddenly — it all stops. People seemingly forget #tshirtgate2015 ever existed because the internet has made us all have the attention spans of five year-olds. However, instead of the good people of social media going back to their everyday affairs, they find something else “truly offensive” and begin complaining about that and the social media circle of life continues. Meanwhile, this is the most anyone has talked about PacSun since 1997, so hopefully their PR department can spin this to their benefit.

Guys, we simply cannot be outraged about inconsequential things on a day-to-day basis. It makes us no better than the two teenage girls who cried “witchcraft” because they wanted attention back in 1692. If everything we see and hear is deemed offensive, we are not only disrupting freedom of speech, we all also have some serious rage problems we need to deal with. Perhaps if we could channel that rage into something productive like fixing the environment, figuring out what to do with California before they run out of water or a better way to handle veteran affairs (everyone was crying “what about the vets?” when this whole t-shirt debacle was going down — how about not treating them like shit when they return from defending our country? They would probably appreciate that more than crying over a t-shirt) we could be in better shape as a country. Or, we could just find something a celebrity said, take it out of context and completely ruin their career. Really, either works.

I apologize in advance for any witches who were offended in the creation of this article.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

The Source Article

Jim Breuer: Sports & Comedy Intersect for Stand-Up Guy

Everyone knows that even the most talented athlete has put in long hours of practice and developed a mental toughness second to none. To prepare for competition, athletes spend exorbitant amounts of time on the practice field or in the weight room, just as their coaches do in the film room, looking for clues on how to perfect their offense or counter a defensive scheme. No matter how much talent a professional coach has on his roster or a player has in his God-given gene pool, there’s nothing that compares to preparation through practice, even if the ticket-buying public thinks they can just roll out the balls and play.

Now picture the life of a stand-up comic.

“Some people think what I do is … ‘Oh, yeah, just show up and be funny,'” said comedian Jim Breuer, one of Comedy Central’s 100 Greatest Stand-Ups of All-Time, as he approached the May 29th debut of his “Comic Frenzy” one-hour special on EPIX (check local listings). “Comedy is on my mind 24/7,” he noted when asked of the comparisons between a stand-up comic and a pro ballplayer. “I’m always thinking, always creating and always developing in my head, and I need to a couple months ahead.

“I have this new special coming out now (on EPIX), but I’m plotting and planning for the future and trying to be ahead of the game,” continued Breuer, a Long Island native and ardent New York Mets fan. “You’re a writer, and you have to come up with new material to keep your audience. You want your new stuff to be even funnier. Otherwise, you’re dead. You’re dead in the water.

“It’s just like sports, really. Great, you hit the game-winning home run yesterday but today, you if blew the game with an error on what could’ve been an easy, game-ending double-play? Or, forget it if you’re a pitcher and you just got shelled in today’s game.”

So what’s is like to get shelled as a comedian?

“Thank God, at the stage I’m at now, (I know) I’ll rebound from this. And if I ever get that shelling, it might be from a private, bizarre gig that I probably shouldn’t be doing in the first place, like a small private party with eight people attending in somebody’s living room.”

Popular comedian Jim Breuer doesn’t have to worry about that scary scenario any more. After some 20 years in the business, he can command a stand-up comedy stage much like his favorite New York Mets pitcher, Dwight Gooden, commanded the mound in 1986.

“Dwight Gooden was one of the best pitchers I’ve ever seen in my life,” recalled Breuer, who attended many games at Shea Stadium from 1984 to the Mets’ world championship season of 1986. That’s when Gooden was enjoying a span of about 50 starts when he went 37-5 with a 1.38 ERA and 412 strikeouts in 406 innings pitched.

“It was an EVENT! He’d show up, he sold out, and people came out just to watch him pitch. He was invincible, mowing people down. It was like watching a Mike Tyson fight (in his early days).”

While it’s fun to watch a game on TV, there’s nothing like attending the event in person. Breuer feels that live comedy supplies that same experience.

“What describes me best (and what portrays him at his best), is when you come see me live. Stand-up comedy is the best “a-game” that I put out there,” said Breuer, after being prompted for insight. “And the reason I feel this show is so good is that I did it 100 percent my way. I filmed it where I wanted to film it – on Long Island, in front of some of my hometown people. I hired the director I wanted to direct, and this is my personal project. I’m very excited about it.

“If someone wonders what I’m like, live, this (EPIX special) is a really great description.”

It’s a rare comedic star who becomes an overnight sensation. The more typical path to stardom is similar to the long road an athlete must travel, where hard work, perseverance and dedication to the craft are what make a star a star.

“It comes with experience and it comes with confidence, especially confidence,” Breuer paused to emphasize. “It comes with a drive and determination.

“I went out there in 2008, and here we are, seven years later, and it’s my third or fourth special. But technically I started my career in 1989, so I’ve been around a while, working TV. When you finally find your voice and how you want to use it? It took me quite a while to find that. I was always a huge comedy fan, and I watched it since I was little,” he said, remembering watching Johnny Carson as a youngster, as well as the likes of Laurel and Hardy or Abbott and Costello on Sunday mornings.

“I loved it all. George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Buddy Hackett and Don Rickles. I can remember Laugh In and Sonny & Cher. But Eddie Murphy? I went to see him at the Westbury Music Fair when I was about 17 or 18 years old and to see someone that young (Murphy was only 23 at the time), I could just taste it. He was the super-inspiration for me.”

The thrill of making people laugh the way Eddie Murphy could was the attraction to Breuer and drew him to a profession that, like professional sports, provides valuable entertainment value to the average fan.

“Music – Comedy – Sports, they all have healing power,” said Breuer. “They can heal a major part of you. They can be healers of pain or healers of (bad) memories. But they can create great memories…I think that’s why everyone relates to them.

“Sports, music and comedy, everyone needs them.”

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

The Source Article

Bladders and Bears and Butts, Oh My!

2015-05-28-1432789050-4973201-tv.jpg

Vaginal Mesh, Vaginal Sling, Bladder Mesh, Bladder Sling. I have heard these 8 words over the last three months more than I have heard my own name spoken over my 60 years on earth. I don’t know what they are. I don’t want to know what they are. The visual I conjure in my mind is enough to make me feel I may need an Optical Mesh or Optical Sling.

All I see in my mind is a Vagina being toted in a sling made of mesh, kind of a purse situation if you will or better yet, a wine bladder. (Even though I was a hippie, I could never bring myself to drink out of a wine bladder because well, “bladder”). I’m not sure at all how one totes their own vagina, which perhaps is why the ad is for an attorney.

So, yes, please call the number and get lots and lots of money but for the love of God, do it NOW. I can’t watch that commercial every six minutes or hear those 8 words again; they haunt me. And now I have moved on to envisioning some sort of vagina/hammock situation and a banana is trying desperately to photobomb the image in my mind.

While we are on the subject of bladders, how much longer must we endure the desperately needing to pee woman racing to the ladies room? Why does that stupid woman hold hands with her bladder all day? She lets that thing boss her around, basically he is making her his bladder bitch. Bladder boy is already on the outside of her body, why can’t he just go find a hole in the wall, pee in it and leave the poor woman alone to finish her bowling game? He’s needy, unattractive and annoying and if I were her, I would make him sit there in the bowling alley booth and just piss himself.

Let’s move from bladders to butts shall we? What in the ever loving hell is up with those nasty ass (literally) bears? They walk around with dingle berries all over their butts! Even though it is animated, it’s still disgusting and Charmin seems to have determined dinner time as prime time to reach their demographic target – everyone who poops! What better time to think about poop than when you are enjoying your dinner!

Teach the kids how to wipe, Mama Bear! We all had to do it, now it’s your turn! I should think by now you would have realized that telling your kids that rubbing their butts on a tree isn’t taking care of business! I realized it right away when it took me hours to pluck splinters and bark shards out of my son’s raw cheeks! Duh!

Then, since apparently there is no “end” to our idiocy when it comes to wiping our own butts, we also have the English woman interviewing people about their hygiene habits in a bowling alley. What is it with Bears, Brits, Bladders, Butts/Bums and bowling alleys??? Not only is she nosing around into everyone’s butt business, she then humiliates people who do not wipe their “bums” with paper and THEN with a wet wipe and then toilet paper AGAIN! Really?

She even says “I need a clean alley every time!” She is literally comparing her ass to a bowling alley lane!! Wow, her poops must be huge, hard, round atomic balls that ricochet out at lightning speed whilst creating thunderous sounds! Think of all the clogged toilets? Ahh, nice segue into my next hated
commercial….

The overflowing septic tank. Although this, too, is an animated commercial, the company that is responsible for this ad spared no money on graphics. A family is basically trapped inside their home because they were too stupid to have their septic tank emptied and now, what once was their perfectly landscaped suburban neighborhood lawn, is literally a sea of poop.

I think the view we see is from the sky, and they have painted the words PLEASE HELP US, THINGS ARE REALLY SHITTY!!! on their roof hoping for FEMA aka (Foul Emissions Medical Assistance) to whisk them away to the nearest bowling alley – where all poop/butt/bum/bladder problems are simply flushed away……

Last but certainly not least, we have the sultry woman luxuriating in a bed, writhing like a cat in heat anticipating her man and his wonder wand. Encased in billowing malaria netting, the bed is totally secluded on the beach and she is draped across the Egyptian cotton sheets basically saying that hey, who cares that it cost 15,000.00 to have a bunch of sweaty men set up a bed on the beach, bring in tables, a minimum of 200 pillows, Aladdin looking lamps, carpeting, wine and sexy hors d’ oeuvres only to find her man can’t get it up!

In a soft, soothing voice, she is assuring him it will all be ok if he just takes a pill. In reality, any normal woman is going to be saying, “Honey, what are you planning to do with that doughboy situation you’ve got going on down there? Listen up, rubber dick! You go big or you go home and I mean NOW mister, I’m sweating like a pig out here and damn if there aren’t swarms of mosquitoes trying to band together in the shape of a knife to cut through this netting!

This tent is on the beach -no civilization in sight…anywhere! Where do they poop? In the ocean? Ahh, they must have the Brit Bum/Bear/Wipe/Wash combo pack. Or, maybe a Butt Mesh or Butt Sling, we just don’t know!

Hopefully, one of them was smart enough to bring copious amounts of toilet paper, several hefty packs of bum wipes, something to inject into that obnoxious yammering bladder to knock him the hell out and upon taking a pill, the impotent man will leave his seductress needing a hobo bag sling to tote her vagina home.

God help them if the director has installed a make shift septic system for them to use, they may end up bobbing endlessly in Dukey Ocean with only an inflated bladder and vaginal mesh sling to keep them afloat.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

The Source Article

10 Surefire Ways to Sin During Yoga

According to a retired Catholic bishop in Nebraska (always a good source of thoughtful, practical life tips), practicing yoga is not just a great way to relieve stress, find contentment, build strength, and make friends — it’s also “an occasion of serious sin.”

Yeah. He really said that.

In a letter sent last week to the Women of Grace Ministry, former bishop Fabian Bruskewitz advised that for Catholic women, working on your downward dog is much more sinister than it seems. He wrote:

It is well known that many proponents of what is called ‘New Age Religion’ use yoga and yoga practices, and instruction in these practices, as doorways in which to enter into people’s consciousness and wean them away from the truths which the Catholic Church preserves.

It might sound ridiculous, but I’m sorry to say Bishop Bruskewitz isn’t wrong. It is so easy to sin during yoga. Here are 10 of the most common yoga sins you might not even know you’re committing:

1. Worshiping your yoga teacher as a false idol.

Surprisingly easy, I know, especially when she can so effortlessly flip over into a lotus headstand.

2. Coveting the yoga pants of the woman next to you.

Confession: I do this all the time. Like, have you seen these floral leggings? How am I not to covet such gorgeous workout apparel?

3. Doing plank pose. Naked. On top of a married man.

Plank pose might be great for toning the arms and shoulders, but alas, it’s also a perfect position to commit adultery.

4. Yelling a blasphemous string of profanity when you fall over from standing splits.

“Gosh darnit” will do, thank you very much.

5. Lusting after the the toned bod of the yogi next to you.

They’re sweaty, you’re sweaty, neither of you are wearing very many clothes, and you just spent the past hour opening up your sacral chakra. Lust is inevitable.

6. Taking the “Warrior” poses a little too literally and killing someone.

Hey, it happens.

7. Going full glutton at the juice bar after class.

“I’ll take seven large bee-pollen-coconut-kale smoothies, please.”

8. Whispering “There is no God” instead of “Namaste.”

Easy mistake to make, but still, it’s a sin.

9. Flowing straight from downward-facing dog into a scheme to defraud the poor.

Ugh, if I had a dime for every time a yoga teacher tried to get me to do this sequence.

10. Stealing everyone’s wallets while they’re meditating in savasana.

Rude!

This story by Winona Dimeo-Ediger first appeared at ravishly.com, an alternative news+culture women’s website.

More from Ravishly:

How Not To Take A Compliment
8 DIY Hair Tutorials You Will Never See On Pinterest
6 Easy Ways To Take All The Fun Out Of Fashion

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

The Source Article

Jesse Eisenberg Is A Stone(d) Cold Killer In Awesome ‘American Ultra’ Trailer

Imagine Viggo Mortensen in “A History of Violence” meets Jason Bourne meets a ton of weed. What do you get? Jesse Eisenberg’s Mike Howell in “American Ultra.”

In the action comedy from writer Max Landis (“Chronicle”) and director Nima Nourizadeh (“Project X”), Mike is a “stoned cold killer” who doesn’t even know it. When a government agent (Connie Britton) shows up to warn him of a dangerous operation, he has no clue what she’s talking about, unable to remember that he’s actually a trained killer. After a bunch of bad guys attack him, Mike goes on the run with his stoner girlfriend (Kristen Stewart). “American Ultra” also stars Topher Grace and John Leguizamo.

“American Ultra” opens Aug. 21.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

The Source Article

Conscious and Unconscious Factors Affecting Response Levels to E-Mail Requests

2015-05-28-1432822466-4949256-Unknown.jpg

You are a man who hates women. You are a woman who hates men. Yet these feelings are very repressed so you don’t even realize you are failing to respond. You have the ANS (autonomic nervous system) or CNS (Central Nervous System) of an animal, who can smell the fear of his prey. You are very defended about this quality of your nature. The notion that your lack of response may be causing harm, and figuratively or even literally killing the person who is waiting for a response, eludes you. Moving from the unconscious to the conscious or cognitive level you are a person who receives between 50 and 100 e-mails a day usually from people who only feign to care about you because they want something. You are sick of these monotonous and often anonymous requests for attention. In general you’re always hearing from those people who want something from you, but rarely or never hearing from another tier of individual who has things you want and whose e mail’s you would eagerly answer. Tier #2 people (those who you don’t want to hear from) rarely cross into being Tier #1 (those you crave love, acceptance and attention from). But there are exceptions. A tier #2 person may attain status or beauty (through some kind of radical surgery, self-realization program or workout regimen). And their e-mails may cross over from the status of near spam to being the kind of high priority specimens that leap out from your in box. Statistically these kinds of events are insignificant but they must be accounted for particularly by researchers who are working with random focus groups in social networks.

{This was originally posted to The Screaming Pope, Francis Levy’s blog of rants and reactions to contemporary politics, art and culture}

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

The Source Article