Seek Jobs For Me » Odd https://seekjobsfor.me We seek jobs for you, find your perfect job here Thu, 29 May 2014 16:48:55 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= Jon Stewart Says The U.S. Is ‘Like The Oprah Of Middle East Weapons Systems!’ https://seekjobsfor.me/jon-stewart-says-the-u-s-is-like-the-oprah-of-middle-east-weapons-systems/ https://seekjobsfor.me/jon-stewart-says-the-u-s-is-like-the-oprah-of-middle-east-weapons-systems/#comments Wed, 30 Jul 2014 09:11:57 +0000 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/30/jon-stewart-middle-east-oprah_n_5632824.html Politicians on both side of the aisle say the United States wants to bring peace to the Middle East — and that has Jon Stewart wondering just why we’re sending so many weapons to the region.

On Tuesday night’s “Daily Show,” he pointed out that the U.S. is sending arms to Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Iraq, Oman, United Arab Emirates, Bahrain, Kuwait, Qatar and Israel.

“We’re like the Oprah of Middle East Weapons systems!” Stewart said. “You get some bombs! You get some bombs! Everybody get some bombs!”

If you’re thinking such shipments are a recipe for anything other than peace, you’re not alone. Watch the clip above for more.

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Nathan Fielder’s ‘Dumb Starbucks’ Episode Finally Airs, And It’s Genius https://seekjobsfor.me/nathan-fielders-dumb-starbucks-episode-finally-airs-and-its-genius/ https://seekjobsfor.me/nathan-fielders-dumb-starbucks-episode-finally-airs-and-its-genius/#comments Wed, 30 Jul 2014 05:46:45 +0000 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/29/nathan-fielder-dumb-starbucks_n_5632478.html Comedian Nathan Fielder caused a venti-sized media firestorm earlier this year when he opened up a parody Starbucks for an episode of his Comedy Central show, and now we finally have the whole dumb story.

The infamous “Dumb Starbucks” episode of “Nathan For You” premiered Tuesday night, and it was brilliant. It turns out Fielder originally planned on opening the parody coffee shop to help out a struggling business owner, but he quickly got swept up in success, perhaps forgetting why he began parodying mega-successful coffee chains in the first place.

The truth behind Fielder’s parody is genius. The episode explains how the comedian used legal loopholes to make Dumb Starbucks happen by “establishing” himself as a parody artist to prevent Starbucks from suing.

Check out the clips to see how Fielder did it — and how the whole thing blew up overnight.

Learning About Parody Laws

Getting Established As A Parody Artist

Hiring Staff

Open For Business

Now if we could only figure out why Starbucks calls its small size a tall, but that’s a mystery that just might be too dumb to comprehend.

“Nathan For You” airs Tuesdays at 10:30 p.m. ET on Comedy Central.

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How Worrying…Helps? https://seekjobsfor.me/how-worrying-helps/ https://seekjobsfor.me/how-worrying-helps/#comments Wed, 30 Jul 2014 02:19:05 +0000 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sara-starkman/how-worryinghelps_b_5630145.html To most of my friends and family — OK FINE — to all of my friends and family, I’m known as “the QUEEN worry wart” (tiny curtsy). I literally worry about everything, all of the time. You think I’m exaggerating; you clearly don’t know my doctor, my boyfriend…or my mailman.

I’m the kind of person who is in constant fear of most things. And I know what you’re thinking. You should definitely be medicated. And yes, I probably should (thank you very much). But putting excess chemicals into my body is something I worry about as is, so that right there just wouldn’t work out. My point, however, isn’t to babble on listing the increasing number of things I worry about (including, but not limited to, mercury poisoning, HPV, anti-biotic immunity, cancer, sharks, terrorism, global warming, reckless drivers and the imposition of mandatory grilled red pepper consumption), but to explain how worrying actually helps! I know what you’re thinking. Worrying helps NOTHING. But trust me, I’ve heard that a million times before…from my shrink, and I am completely unconvinced. Here’s why:

1) Worrying about mine, and my loved ones’, personal wellbeing has pushed me into leading an incredibly healthy lifestyle (and forced them too, subsequently, via guilt). Everyone wins!

2) Worrying is my magical power. Once I’ve achieved acute stomach pain (borderline-ulcer) status, I’ve willed the bad things not to happen strongly enough that they can’t anymore. That’s a thing right?

3) Worrying shows how much I care about my friends and family (in the most annoying and overbearing way possible).

4) Worrying about EVERYTHING means that my partner can relax and take it easy. I’ve got it covered babe!

5) Worrying makes me a very cautious, methodical person who thinks rationally before making decisions… According to my fortune cookie.

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Bachelor Parties for Guys Over 40 Should Be Against the Law https://seekjobsfor.me/bachelor-parties-for-guys-over-40-should-be-against-the-law/ https://seekjobsfor.me/bachelor-parties-for-guys-over-40-should-be-against-the-law/#comments Tue, 29 Jul 2014 23:02:22 +0000 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-fagin/bachelor-parties-for-guys_b_5631489.html The Bachelor Party. A time-honored tradition of male-bonding in which a group of friends wish “Bon Voyage” to their lucky – or unlucky – friend about to take the plunge into matrimony, by eating more than they ever have, drinking an ocean’s worth of Mexico’s finest national product, and spending enough money to cover Portugal’s national debt on women they can’t even touch.

Having recently participated in a bachelor party for my best friend who’s getting married – again – I can tell you, a bunch of intoxicated, sexually-repressed Jews wandering the meat-packing district for hours, with no clear destination, you definitely begin to understand what it must have felt like 2000 years ago. Not a good vibe.

It’s bad enough to have to endure a testosterone-fueled, and ultimately feudal, evening like this when you’re in your twenties. But, when you hit 40-plus, and you’re all sitting around after dinner wondering what to do, and the suggestion that receives the most votes is “Ben and Jerry’s,” you know it’s over.

Twenty years ago, the post-dinner conversation immediately began with talk about going to Score’s. Now, it’s about going for s’mores. Of course, eventually, the former wins out – if only as a poorly-disguised attempt to cling to whatever’s left of your youth – which, ironically, in the end, makes you feel older. So, what’s the point?

My suggestion; just give it up, guys. There’s nothing worse than an almost 50 year-old, drunken man-child, shamelessly cat-calling out the car window to a pre-pube female in heels so high she looks like a new-born giraffe.

Not to mention, if you’re anything like me, the more you’re supposed to have a good time, the worse it is. Case in point; New Year’s Eve. Come to think of it, they should do away with that one, too.

The only possible way anyone over the age of 39 should ever even consider throwing/attending one of these sad, humiliating events is if the location is Vegas and one of the guy’s is BFFs with Ben Affleck. Then, maybe.

Otherwise, I recommend Congress pass a law making it illegal for men over 40 to engage in bachelor party hi-jinx. Why not? Our government does their best to protect us in every other area of our lives, e.g., driving too fast, jaywalking, seat belts, texting, etc., etc. Why not save us from both physical – as well as psychological – harm?

Seriously, what’s the point of spending $300 for a $30 bottle of vodka and giving it all to sleazy women who are experts in the art of self-inflicted pickpocketing? If you want to be frustrated by a woman you can’t have, why not just stay home and talk to your wife? It’s free and the ensuing headache is all hers.

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Honesty Still Exists, Even at the Auto Shop https://seekjobsfor.me/honesty-still-exists-even-at-the-auto-shop/ https://seekjobsfor.me/honesty-still-exists-even-at-the-auto-shop/#comments Tue, 29 Jul 2014 22:48:54 +0000 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michelle-kennedy/honesty-still-exists-even_b_5631647.html
Dave's business looks nothing like your traditional automotive shop. Paintings of colorful swirls cover the windows on the outside of the building. Inside, Dave has eclectic posters with quotes and funny pictures hanging on the walls amidst countless plants and antique car parts plopped on the floor of the waiting area.

A handful of small dogs lounging on a large pillow greet you at the door with spirited yips. A gray cat with easily eight layers of dirt and oil caked on its fur also always rubs against your calves when you walk in. Dirty Cat is absolutely filthy but very sweet and a kind of mascot for the place.

If you watch Dave with customers, he's always pushing his glasses up and looking to the side to consider his words before expressing meaningful concepts. From gratitude, to favorite movies, and old cars he fixed that everyone said couldn't be fixed, Dave enjoys thoughtfully sharing his insights with others.

My twelve-year-old Explorer is on its last legs. I'm almost ready to let it go, but not quite, so I see Dave a lot.

Cars are really perplexing to me, so Dave writes in yellow marker on all of the parts he works on.

Opening my hood, I can read a sea of descriptions, dates, and changes he's made over the past couple of years. This way, I am never confused. Because of his honesty and attention to detail, I've trusted Dave since day one.

Recently, I took the car in for a check engine light problem. Dave quoted me between $700 and $1000 for the job. He said he would have to go in and fix this one part and then, if he needed new parts, the cost would go up.

When I arrived to pick the car up, and saw the bill came to $495, I figured he'd grabbed the wrong invoice. As always, Dave filled me in on everything he did, and revealed that he was able to fix the problem without new parts, and the job didn't take as long as he thought it would.

"We came in under budget, Michelle. That is why it's $495."

I stared at him in disbelief. Not because Dave's integrity surprised me, but because I couldn't recall a moment in my entire life when someone doing a job for me admitted to coming in "under budget." Because we usually aren't there to see the work being done, we, as customers, have no idea how long it actually took. We would never know the difference either way.

The experience made me appreciate Dave more than ever. It also got me thinking about honesty. It made me wonder if I tell the truth as often as I could or should.

Things I generally lie about are: my weight on my driver's license and how long it will take for me to get somewhere when I am already late. For some reason, even when I know I need another thirty minutes, I say it will only take fifteen. I don't know if this is wishful thinking or what?

I lie to others sometimes to avoid hurting their feelings. Baby lies like, "No, your singing was really good." And, "Yes, I totally like that yellow color you chose for your new car," are not that big of a deal.

Lying to myself is my biggest problem. I say I'm not mad sometimes when I totally am. If I skip the gym today, it won't turn into a week. I round up how much I saved on a sale. I think we all lie about love relationships when we convince ourselves his or her good qualities surely outweigh the bad.

Sometimes I don't eat the last couple bites of a meal. That way I can lie to myself about how many calories I didn't consume. (Yes, not eating the crust of that pizza really made a difference, Michelle.)

And speaking of food, (because how can I get through an article without talking about food?) I lie about sugar. I buy the Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake flavor and tell myself that I won't eat the whole pint. Unfortunately, when the piecrust starts popping up at the bottom, I can't turn back. Coveting the carton in the ice cream aisle is where the lie begins.

I hope admitting to these lies here will make me more accountable to myself. I am grateful to Dave for inspiring me to practice increased honesty in my life. He really is a cool guy who made me think about stuff, simply by telling the truth.]]>
My car guy, Dave, wears a curly brown ponytail that stretches down to his waist and glasses that kind of remind me of John Lennon. I found him through stellar reviews on Yelp. A free spirit, he’s undoubtedly the most unique mechanic I’ve ever met.

Dave’s business looks nothing like your traditional automotive shop. Paintings of colorful swirls cover the windows on the outside of the building. Inside, Dave has eclectic posters with quotes and funny pictures hanging on the walls amidst countless plants and antique car parts plopped on the floor of the waiting area.

A handful of small dogs lounging on a large pillow greet you at the door with spirited yips. A gray cat with easily eight layers of dirt and oil caked on its fur also always rubs against your calves when you walk in. Dirty Cat is absolutely filthy but very sweet and a kind of mascot for the place.

If you watch Dave with customers, he’s always pushing his glasses up and looking to the side to consider his words before expressing meaningful concepts. From gratitude, to favorite movies, and old cars he fixed that everyone said couldn’t be fixed, Dave enjoys thoughtfully sharing his insights with others.

My twelve-year-old Explorer is on its last legs. I’m almost ready to let it go, but not quite, so I see Dave a lot.

Cars are really perplexing to me, so Dave writes in yellow marker on all of the parts he works on.

Opening my hood, I can read a sea of descriptions, dates, and changes he’s made over the past couple of years. This way, I am never confused. Because of his honesty and attention to detail, I’ve trusted Dave since day one.

Recently, I took the car in for a check engine light problem. Dave quoted me between $700 and $1000 for the job. He said he would have to go in and fix this one part and then, if he needed new parts, the cost would go up.

When I arrived to pick the car up, and saw the bill came to $495, I figured he’d grabbed the wrong invoice. As always, Dave filled me in on everything he did, and revealed that he was able to fix the problem without new parts, and the job didn’t take as long as he thought it would.

“We came in under budget, Michelle. That is why it’s $495.”

I stared at him in disbelief. Not because Dave’s integrity surprised me, but because I couldn’t recall a moment in my entire life when someone doing a job for me admitted to coming in “under budget.” Because we usually aren’t there to see the work being done, we, as customers, have no idea how long it actually took. We would never know the difference either way.

The experience made me appreciate Dave more than ever. It also got me thinking about honesty. It made me wonder if I tell the truth as often as I could or should.

Things I generally lie about are: my weight on my driver’s license and how long it will take for me to get somewhere when I am already late. For some reason, even when I know I need another thirty minutes, I say it will only take fifteen. I don’t know if this is wishful thinking or what?

I lie to others sometimes to avoid hurting their feelings. Baby lies like, “No, your singing was really good.” And, “Yes, I totally like that yellow color you chose for your new car,” are not that big of a deal.

Lying to myself is my biggest problem. I say I’m not mad sometimes when I totally am. If I skip the gym today, it won’t turn into a week. I round up how much I saved on a sale. I think we all lie about love relationships when we convince ourselves his or her good qualities surely outweigh the bad.

Sometimes I don’t eat the last couple bites of a meal. That way I can lie to myself about how many calories I didn’t consume. (Yes, not eating the crust of that pizza really made a difference, Michelle.)

And speaking of food, (because how can I get through an article without talking about food?) I lie about sugar. I buy the Ben & Jerry’s Strawberry Cheesecake flavor and tell myself that I won’t eat the whole pint. Unfortunately, when the piecrust starts popping up at the bottom, I can’t turn back. Coveting the carton in the ice cream aisle is where the lie begins.

I hope admitting to these lies here will make me more accountable to myself. I am grateful to Dave for inspiring me to practice increased honesty in my life. He really is a cool guy who made me think about stuff, simply by telling the truth.

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Facebook’s High School Reunion Problem https://seekjobsfor.me/facebooks-high-school-reunion-problem/ https://seekjobsfor.me/facebooks-high-school-reunion-problem/#comments Tue, 29 Jul 2014 22:27:54 +0000 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/galanty-miller/facebooks-high-school-reu_b_5627045.html I like Facebook. Oh, it gets a bad rap sometimes. And it’s easy to criticize. Sure, it’s a bit of a distraction from the important things in life. But without Facebook, how else would I get constant invitations to play Candy Crush? Also, it’s fun to take those Facebook personality quizzes, like “Which Passion Of The Christ Character Are You?” and “Which Member of Norway’s 2006 Winter Olympics Team Are You?” (answers: God and speed skater Hedvig Bjelkevik) Actually, my only real problem with Facebook is that it has killed one of our great American traditions, the high school reunion.

High school reunions used to take place ten years after you graduate, or twenty-five years after you graduate. Now, high school reunions take place every morning, while you sit at your computer not doing work, browsing your former classmates’ update statuses. “Hey, the chubby guy I sat next to in biology class ran another marathon this weekend. I guess I should ‘like’ it?”

The thing I got most out of reading Charles Darwin is that human beings are not supposed to stay in touch with everyone from high school. It’s unnatural — like genetically modified food or heterosexual sex. Rather, during our teenage years, we’re in a monkey-like state. Then we evolve; we leave high school, maybe holding on to a couple of good friends if you’re lucky, then we start our lives, occasionally running into a school acquaintance at Target, and then years later we get together with all our classmates for a night of reminiscing, drunkenness, seeing who got weird-looking and revenge sex. This has been the natural, biological evolution of graduation-to-reunion for millions of years. It’s why Alabama won’t teach it in science class.

Sure, high school reunions still exist. But they’re not the same. Now, people go into their reunion already knowing the stuff they used to learn at the reunion… which was the whole point of going to the reunion. High school reunions used to be all about the “surprise” factor. Whoa, James is religious now!? Darlene is hot now!? Kyle married our English teacher!? But, because of Facebook, everyone already knows this information. So now when you meet and greet your former classmates, the conversation is more like, “So what do you think about this weather we’ve been having?”

Before Facebook, the time-honored high school reunion was the place to discover which classmates are now successful and which classmates are now failures. Before Facebook, the high school reunion was the place to discover which classmates are now happy (IE the ones who found their soul mate and got married) and which classmates are now miserable (IE the ones who found their soul mate, got married and then had children). Now, at least based on the Facebook update statuses that people write about their lives, apparently everyone is happy and successful. Look how everyone is smiling in their vacation pics.

And, shallow as it may be, let’s be honest; the biggest reason to attend your high school reunion has always been to find out how your former classmates look. But, of course, with Facebook, I bet most high school reunions don’t even bother to hand out name tags at the door anymore. Everyone already knows how everyone looks. (note: I looked good at my high school reunion. Painful as the process may be, subjecting my face to a twice-a-week chemical skin peel is really paying off.)

We’re all connected now. And this is nice. It’s a good thing. The at-one-time bullies are Facebook friendly with their victims. Former prom queens chat on-line with the unpopular nerds. The kids who were jocks are now… well, they’re still a**holes. But for the most part, Facebook has broken down the cliquish stereotypes we assumed our former classmates to be. The kids you partied with are now adults, sharing political views and news about their lives and — though smothered underneath a pile of selfies — even the occasional deep thought.

But for better or worse, social networking technology has rendered another American tradition irrelevant. And that’s kind of sad. At least I assume it’s an American tradition. Do other countries have high school reunions? I’m thinking Iraq probably doesn’t. “Hey, does anyone know if Saddam is coming tonight? He what?! Wow. Okay, then I guess that means he’s not coming.”

There have been a million movie and TV show plots in which the protagonist attends his or her high school reunion — often with the hopes of seeing an old flame or looking to settle an old score or to apologize to a classmate they once hurt and they still feel guilty about it. I bet that today’s high school students have trouble relating to these storylines. The mystery of “whatever happened to so-and-so” is a fading era, replaced by “so-and-so just changed their relationship status.”

And that’s what high school reunions are really about, and that’s what technology has taken away from us… the excitement of mystery. And that’s a small thrill that those-still-too-young-to-have-attended-their-first-high-school-reunion will miss, without even knowing they miss it. Enjoy your ten-year reunion, twenty-eight-year-olds. But know that when you walk through the doors, there won’t be any surprises.

There’s no mystery anymore. I mean, the next Avengers movie doesn’t even come out for another year, but I already know the plot. I already know everything about the new superhero characters. And I want to know everything about the movie, but yet I don’t. But yet I do. But yet I don’t. But yet I do. Do you see what I’m saying? (I’m saying that I’m a geek.)

Similarly, I love that Facebook allows me to keep in touch with so many people from my past. Thank you, Facebook. It almost makes up for funneling our personal information to government agencies and using us as human guinea pigs to sell more soda. It’s comforting to be a mouse click away from so many names that, without computers, would’ve probably just drifted into that hazy retrospective part of our brain that self-activates anytime we’re driving on an unfamiliar back road and a Sarah McLachlan song pops up on the radio. And yet, perhaps “comforting” is really just a crutch. Are our memories not enough? Sometimes I think that we’re missing out by not missing out. Eh, whatever. Most of these people will eventually unfriend you, anyway.

Of course, there are people who choose not to be part of the social networking world, who would never join Facebook. But those are the same people who have no interest in high school reunions, anyway. They’ve moved on, living in the “now” without regret, grabbing hold of every new adventure that comes their way. They don’t want to waste their time dwelling on about random former acquaintances of which they only have vague recollections. In other words, people who aren’t on Facebook are no fun.

Yes, Facebook has eliminated the need for reunions. I’m going to make a prediction. One, competitive eating champion Joey Chestnut will surpass seventy franks during next year’s July 4th Hot Dog Eating Contest. And also, in time, the traditional high school reunion will be phased out, disappearing from the cultural landscape, just like landline telephones and Miley Cyrus’ dignity. Replacing it will be a new sort of “reunion”, frequent and more spur-of-the-moment casual get-togethers. Update Status: Hey, everyone from high school! Some of us are getting together at Applebee’s tomorrow night. If you’re in town, stop by! And, hey, that could be fun, too.

Here’s a personal story…

Years ago, back in my college days, I met a beautiful girl who sat next to me during a summer class I was taking. We struck up a conversation, which then led to an exciting, unforgettable, romantic, passionate affair that lasted until the end of the summer. Then I moved back to my hometown. We never saw each other again.

Over the years, from time to time, I tried looking her up. I’m dying to see what she’s doing these days. But she had a very common name. And, honestly, I never really knew that much about her. So I was never been able to find her. And I’m sort of glad about that. Sure, I’m curious. But, in this case, I’ll take the mystery and the memories over the banal comfort of the present.

Nevertheless, if you happen to be reading this essay, Gwyneth Paltrow, I hope you’re doing well and I’d love to hear from you so hit me up on Twitter!

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Everything Happens for a Reason https://seekjobsfor.me/everything-happens-for-a-reason/ https://seekjobsfor.me/everything-happens-for-a-reason/#comments Tue, 29 Jul 2014 22:21:56 +0000 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/katina-corrao/everything-happens-for-a-reason_b_5631750.html You know what’s really annoying? When people tell you that everything happens for a reason. That’s like saying, Oh, you fell and smashed your face against the hard concrete? Yeah well, that happened for a reason. Oh, a bird had explosive diarrhea on your shoulder right before your meeting? Yep, there’s a reason.

A few months ago, I was doing what I normally do, stressing out because I didn’t book another commercial and wondering whether I should create a dating profile or finish a can of Pringles. I skimmed through the latest comedy publication that just released the 999,000 best comedians in America and my name was nowhere to be seen. I read a few emails that said, Thanks Katrinka, but no. Another wedding invitation came in the mail and not only didn’t I have anyone to bring, but unless they were definitely serving pigs-in-a-blanket, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go.

I was feeling tired, just not myself. My head felt foggy, I was nauseous and I had crazy pressure on my face. My ears were clogged and I would get intense headaches every morning. It was allergy season, so my television blared with commercials for treating them. Do you have Sinus Pressure? Headaches? Are you tired all the time? Take this pill and you will feel so much better. I’m not sure if that’s exactly what the commercial said because I was too busy shouting, “I auditioned for that!” to notice.

My GP thought it was migraines; an ear, nose and throat doctor thought it was sleep apnea; and an allergist wasn’t sure, but did mention that he also does stand up comedy. Kill me now. I went to see a neurologist who, along with my aunt who is a nurse, told me to get an MRI.

After the 20-minute procedure, My Mom and I prepared for a fun weekend away from the city. My sister was meeting us and we were excited. The three of us can make anything fun as long as we’re together. We especially love car rides, preparing good meals and gardening, a special treat for people who only have a fire escape with a sad-looking geranium on it. That afternoon there was a message from my neurologist. All I heard was, “Get yourself to an emergency room, I’m afraid you’re going to fall asleep and not wake up.”

An emergency room in the suburbs is nothing like ones in a city. There’s elevator music, Martha Stuart magazines, and people bring water to your shaken mother to calm her nerves. Soon, we were joined by some of our friends and Mary, the amazing mother of my childhood boyfriend. They all remained strong for us when the doctor told us the news… there was a mass on my brain that had to be removed. Mary quickly made some phone calls and within minutes, had the name of one of the top neurosurgeons in the area.

One minute you’re planning a weekend and the next, a team of doctors surround your bed. One of them knelt down, held my hand and explained that they were going to remove the mass. A mass? Is that a tumor? Yes, a tumor and a cyst were the two things causing me all that pain. I was scared. Was I going to die? It wasn’t really a strange question considering in the past couple of years I had lost several close friends, a young cousin and my dear Dad. We knew what we knew and wouldn’t find out anything else until they took more tests and completed the surgery.

The CAT scan of my abdomen (something I didn’t even think about having them do) was clear. Next was another MRI. “Are you claustrophobic?,” asked a nurse. “I am now,” I said. However, thanks to a little thing called Ativan, I could have been hanging out with the cast of Three’s Company at the Regal Beagle instead of being inside a clanking tube and I wouldn’t have known the difference.

The next few days I spent wondering if any of the doctors were single, canceling shows and passing on a new writing job. I crossed out all the fun things I had planned in my calendar and wrote ‘Brain Surgery’ in its place.

My room began to fill up with flowers, balloons and stuffed animals. The kindest emails and texts came from grade school, high school and college friends. Some of the loveliest people I know, my comedian friends in New York and Los Angeles, organized a prayer chain. My close family and friends stayed by my side. I never felt more loved in my life.

As they wheeled me down to the operating room, I began to cry. I prayed that my Dad would watch over me. He and my Mom had always been there for me before anything scary and the loss of his presence was palpable. I imagined him standing there next to me giving me the thumbs up. I woke up in the ICU and the very first thing I saw was my smiling Mom at the foot of my bed. “It’s all going to be OK,” she said. Turns out, it was a rare tumor of the central nervous system, but the tumor was benign. Never in my life had I heard more glorious words.

The weeks of recovery that followed were filled with family, friends, laughter, generous gifts and an enormous amount of gratitude. I was reminded in a very short time how much love I have in my life. Essentially, I found my strength in love. (Cue Whitney Houston.)

This experience has changed me for the better. I consciously appreciate my beating heart and fully accept whatever comes my way. Instead of stressing about all the things I don’t have, I appreciate all the things that are in my life at this moment. I can almost watch the commercials I didn’t book without wincing. (I SAID ALMOST!)

Maybe I needed a jolt, a reset button or a fresh new start to continue my journey through life. Maybe I needed a few weeks to just sit and think. Or, maybe my experience will encourage someone to get an MRI. I may not ever know the real reason for all of this but I do know one thing for sure. As annoying as it sounds, I now believe everything does happen for a reason.

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ManServants For Hire Are Like Strippers, But So Much Better https://seekjobsfor.me/manservants-for-hire-are-like-strippers-but-so-much-better/ https://seekjobsfor.me/manservants-for-hire-are-like-strippers-but-so-much-better/#comments Tue, 29 Jul 2014 22:04:15 +0000 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/29/manservants_n_5631267.html
Knowing that most women aren't as enthused with strippers as men are, one San Francisco based start-up decided to change the game and give women what they really want: Man servants.

The company, appropriately called ManServants, states that their vision is "to empower women to make their own rules. Rules a ManServant may then follow." The idea is that instead of hiring creepy strippers for their bachelorette parties, women can hire gorgeous models to do the things they actually desire: hold their umbrellas, serve them Champagne by the pool, massage their bodies with their sexy model hands and even snap selfies for them (which in the old days was called "taking a picture").

According to the website, each Manservant is customizable, just like a Build-A-Bear! Customers can tell the company what they want their Manservant to look like, what he should wear, how he should behave and even give him a new name (the site suggests "Garçon, Bartholomew, or Ryan Gosling.")

All of this comes at a price of course. The company's founders tell The Huffington Post that prices will be available in September when the service launches in San Francisco.

Oh, and if you think Manservants is just an escort service dressed up as a bachelorette schtick, think again. The website explicitly states, "A ManServant keeps his penis in his pants and out of the lady’s face.” Phew!

Watch the hilarious advertisement above for more info. Then, let us know in the comments section if you would rent a man for the day.

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Let’s be real ladies: a greased up man shoving his banana-hammock-clad junk in your face is not the definition of a good time.

Knowing that most women aren’t as enthused with strippers as men are, one San Francisco based start-up decided to change the game and give women what they really want: Man servants.

The company, appropriately called ManServants, states that their vision is “to empower women to make their own rules. Rules a ManServant may then follow.” The idea is that instead of hiring creepy strippers for their bachelorette parties, women can hire gorgeous models to do the things they actually desire: hold their umbrellas, serve them Champagne by the pool, massage their bodies with their sexy model hands and even snap selfies for them (which in the old days was called “taking a picture”).

According to the website, each Manservant is customizable, just like a Build-A-Bear! Customers can tell the company what they want their Manservant to look like, what he should wear, how he should behave and even give him a new name (the site suggests “Garçon, Bartholomew, or Ryan Gosling.”)

All of this comes at a price of course. The company’s founders tell The Huffington Post that prices will be available in September when the service launches in San Francisco.

Oh, and if you think Manservants is just an escort service dressed up as a bachelorette schtick, think again. The website explicitly states, “A ManServant keeps his penis in his pants and out of the lady’s face.” Phew!

Watch the hilarious advertisement above for more info. Then, let us know in the comments section if you would rent a man for the day.

Keep in touch! Check out HuffPost Weddings on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. Sign up for our newsletter here.

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Guy Eating Styrofoam Is Probably Not Eating What He Thinks He Is https://seekjobsfor.me/guy-eating-styrofoam-is-probably-not-eating-what-he-thinks-he-is/ https://seekjobsfor.me/guy-eating-styrofoam-is-probably-not-eating-what-he-thinks-he-is/#comments Tue, 29 Jul 2014 21:52:18 +0000 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/29/guy-eating-styrofoam_n_5631845.html
Please. It's not a kebab, it's styrofoam.

On some level, you have to realize that.

And we can only hope that at some point very soon after this video was taken, you did.

Also, to be honest, this video kind of makes styrofoam look good. Maybe it is good. Maybe just a little taste ...

NO. Styrofoam eating is not the answer.

Hat tip: Gawker



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Contact The Author
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No. Don’t eat that, sir.

Please. It’s not a kebab, it’s styrofoam.

On some level, you have to realize that.

And we can only hope that at some point very soon after this video was taken, you did.

Also, to be honest, this video kind of makes styrofoam look good. Maybe it is good. Maybe just a little taste …

NO. Styrofoam eating is not the answer.

Hat tip: Gawker

Like Us On Facebook |
Follow Us On Twitter |
Contact The Author

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Guy Tries To Play It Cool When His Phone Rings On Live TV, Then Panics https://seekjobsfor.me/guy-tries-to-play-it-cool-when-his-phone-rings-on-live-tv-then-panics/ https://seekjobsfor.me/guy-tries-to-play-it-cool-when-his-phone-rings-on-live-tv-then-panics/#comments Tue, 29 Jul 2014 21:40:48 +0000 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/29/cell-phone-rings-live-tv-fail_n_5631602.html Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease. And sometimes, when your cell phone rings on live TV, your attempts to silence it are worse than the ring itself.

Like this guest on a Vietnamese TV show, for instance, whose phone rang in the middle of a segment last week. After initially playing it cool and casually trying to mute the electronic device, however, our friend panics.

Judging by his response, he may have put the phone on silent — permanently.

h/t Kotaku

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Little Girl REALLY Doesn’t Want Her Baby Brother To Grow Up https://seekjobsfor.me/little-girl-really-doesnt-want-her-baby-brother-to-grow-up/ https://seekjobsfor.me/little-girl-really-doesnt-want-her-baby-brother-to-grow-up/#comments Tue, 29 Jul 2014 21:29:36 +0000 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/29/girl-doesnt-want-brother-to-grow-up_n_5631668.html Growing up is hard. Watching someone else grow up can be even harder.

Meet little Sadie. Sadie is a 5-year-old girl who is really, really upset about the fact that her adorable baby brother is going to grow up some day. But who can blame her? He is just so lovable, and his smiles are seriously the cutest.

Sadie also doesn’t want to die when she’s 100.

We feel you, sweetie.

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Can Smiles and Laughter Change the World? https://seekjobsfor.me/can-smiles-and-laughter-change-the-world/ https://seekjobsfor.me/can-smiles-and-laughter-change-the-world/#comments Tue, 29 Jul 2014 21:29:19 +0000 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jamie-masada/can-smiles-and-laughter-comedy_b_5631672.html 2014-07-29-FunniestPersonintheWorld.jpg

I have a dream, perhaps naïve, of bringing the world together through smiles and laughter. Religion, diplomacy and democracy haven't succeeded so maybe it's time to focus on something more universal. And that is why I launched the first annual Funniest Person in the World Competition.

After 35 years in the comedy business, just imagining this possibility -- of seeing funny people from all the countries of the world coming together to make people laugh -- brings a smile to my heart. In addition of course, there is the possibility of enlightening each other.

We see this at the Olympics and the World Cup. All the nations put their differences aside, even if it's only for a few hours, to compete. It's not about our differences but about our love and appreciation for athletic achievement. Could a love of smiling and laughing accomplish this same goal? I believe if we all learn to laugh together we might become a more unified planet. Remember, the Olympics started in 1896 in Athens Greece, and the World Cup started in1930 in Uruguay, and the World's Funniest started in 2014 in the World Wide Web.

Laugh Factory has already received submissions from 20 countries -- ranging from South Africa and England to Ireland, and Sweden to Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, and Israel --- and anybody with internet access can vote for their favorites at www.laughfactory.com.

Too often we teach our children about the negatives in the world and how it comes from our differences. This focus on what separates us tends to foster fear and hatred towards people who are not "like us." However, the people of the world are really similar, especially when they are smiling and laughing.

I have seen it happen. People of all different races, religions, countries, and cultural backgrounds come to the Laugh Factory and regardless of how they feel about each other, once the show starts, suddenly they laugh in unison. All their differences seem to disappear during the show. If only we could see this level of unity and smiling at the United Nations the world would be a better place for everybody.

It is my hope, that by the time the competition enters its fifth year, representatives from each of the world's 195 countries will eventually submit to be part of this yearly global competition.

Laughter is a universal language. This is a chance to find alternative ambassadors, the kind that bring diplomacy through a belly laugh. After all, laughter exists everywhere within the confines of culture and traditions. Laughter based on observations , laughter that acknowledges the gap between ideals and realities and laughter at the stereotypes -- as well as the oddballs -- of the culture, any culture, every culture.

As the famous lyric assures us, "when you're smiling the whole world smiles with you."]]>
2014-07-29-FunniestPersonintheWorld.jpg

I have a dream, perhaps naïve, of bringing the world together through smiles and laughter. Religion, diplomacy and democracy haven’t succeeded so maybe it’s time to focus on something more universal. And that is why I launched the first annual Funniest Person in the World Competition.

After 35 years in the comedy business, just imagining this possibility — of seeing funny people from all the countries of the world coming together to make people laugh — brings a smile to my heart. In addition of course, there is the possibility of enlightening each other.

We see this at the Olympics and the World Cup. All the nations put their differences aside, even if it’s only for a few hours, to compete. It’s not about our differences but about our love and appreciation for athletic achievement. Could a love of smiling and laughing accomplish this same goal? I believe if we all learn to laugh together we might become a more unified planet. Remember, the Olympics started in 1896 in Athens Greece, and the World Cup started in1930 in Uruguay, and the World’s Funniest started in 2014 in the World Wide Web.

Laugh Factory has already received submissions from 20 countries — ranging from South Africa and England to Ireland, and Sweden to Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, and Israel — and anybody with internet access can vote for their favorites at www.laughfactory.com.

Too often we teach our children about the negatives in the world and how it comes from our differences. This focus on what separates us tends to foster fear and hatred towards people who are not “like us.” However, the people of the world are really similar, especially when they are smiling and laughing.

I have seen it happen. People of all different races, religions, countries, and cultural backgrounds come to the Laugh Factory and regardless of how they feel about each other, once the show starts, suddenly they laugh in unison. All their differences seem to disappear during the show. If only we could see this level of unity and smiling at the United Nations the world would be a better place for everybody.

It is my hope, that by the time the competition enters its fifth year, representatives from each of the world’s 195 countries will eventually submit to be part of this yearly global competition.

Laughter is a universal language. This is a chance to find alternative ambassadors, the kind that bring diplomacy through a belly laugh. After all, laughter exists everywhere within the confines of culture and traditions. Laughter based on observations , laughter that acknowledges the gap between ideals and realities and laughter at the stereotypes — as well as the oddballs — of the culture, any culture, every culture.

As the famous lyric assures us, “when you’re smiling the whole world smiles with you.”

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Ninja Cat Sneaks Into Freezer To Expertly Steal Some Fish https://seekjobsfor.me/ninja-cat-sneaks-into-freezer-to-expertly-steal-some-fish/ https://seekjobsfor.me/ninja-cat-sneaks-into-freezer-to-expertly-steal-some-fish/#comments Tue, 29 Jul 2014 21:00:18 +0000 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/29/cat-freezer-fish-video_n_5630892.html Lux the cat likes the finer, more luxurious things in life. Like some “lux” fish filet, to start.

Watch how the cat is able to maneuver the freezer door open all by herself. Luckily her owner was standing by with a camera to make sure Lux didn’t get trapped inside.

“She would try to get any fish she could get her paws on. Her favorite was salmon!” Writes video poster Miranda M in the video description. “We had to use all kinds of methods to keep the freezer door shut.”

Just goes to show you can’t outsmart a cat. Especially when there’s fish involved. That’s why looking into some pet safe locks is always a good idea!

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American Voices: Study: Infants Can Smell Mothers’ Fears https://seekjobsfor.me/american-voices-study-infants-can-smell-mothers-fears/ https://seekjobsfor.me/american-voices-study-infants-can-smell-mothers-fears/#comments Tue, 29 Jul 2014 21:00:00 +0000 http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-infants-can-smell-mothers-fears,36572/ A new study has found that mothers can pass on fears to their newborn infants through odors that help to transmit old traumas, bad memories, and phobias, which teaches them about what to fear in the world.






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This Is What Happens When News Broadcasts Go Hilariously Wrong https://seekjobsfor.me/this-is-what-happens-when-news-broadcasts-go-hilariously-wrong/ https://seekjobsfor.me/this-is-what-happens-when-news-broadcasts-go-hilariously-wrong/#comments Tue, 29 Jul 2014 20:35:28 +0000 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/29/news-broadcasts-hilarious-blooper-newsbefunny_n_5631173.html Okay, we realize that if you’re on the air every day, you can’t get it right all the time.

But, sometimes, what goes wrong on news broadcasts can feel so hilariously right.

In this video from NewsBeFunny, we see a compilation of the best news fails from the month of July, including linguistic misfires, streaking and even a cat stealing some yogurt from an anchor.

Prepare to revel in the perpetual glory that is the news fail.

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