Help Us Blow Up the Sun

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I’m writing on behalf of Americans for a Brighter Tomorrow to join us in boycotting the upcoming Vernal Equinox. Though seemingly innocuous, the Vernal Equinox is in fact a pseudo-scientific assault upon the work of our benefact…


Honest Wine Labels Describe Which Drinks Pair Best With Divorce Papers, And Other Situations

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10 Times Mean Girls Quotes Directly Applied to Motherhood

Cady. Regina. Gretchin. Karen.

We all know who they are.

But that was, like, 11 years ago. (I know, right? So last season.) Now, The Plastics are old enough to have squeezed out a few babies, bought Escalades and signed up for personal trainers while the kids are with the nanny.

Even though they’re no longer the Queen Bees of North Shore High School, their words live on. And you know what?

They totally apply to motherhood.

1. “The limit does not exist.”

Oh, you’re tired? You’ve been up for two days straight and all the kids have stomach flu? What’s that, you’ve reached your limit? HA! This is motherhood. “The limit” does not exist.

2. “It’s like I have ESPN or something.”

I can’t tell the weather with my boobs, but I totally know that my kid is pooping by the way he is frozen in the corner, hiding behind a bookshelf. And I know when he needs a nap when he’s screaming bloody murder while rolling around on the playground. It’s like I have ESPN or something.

3. “You can’t just ask someone why they’re white.”

There’s more than one way to skin a cat and more than one way to start a family. Stop asking crazy questions.

4. “Don’t have sex. You will get pregnant and die.”

Pretty much.

5. “I can’t help that I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina.”

Disgusting things happen. Thank you, childbirth.

6. “Did you see nipple? It only counts if you saw nipple!”

This is actually, literally Facebook’s breastfeeding picture policy. Did you see nipple? Then you can’t report me. HAHAHAHA!!!!

7. “Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries.”

I usually give my kids organic homegrown everything from a juicer. I swear. (I’m lying.)

8. “I like invented her, you know what I mean?!”

That’s right. I birthed that little punk, so she better get in line. I brought her into this world…

9. “I used to just think there was fat and skinny. But apparently, there are lots of things that can be wrong with your body.”

Chin hairs, stretch marks, bladder leakage. Who cares about baby weight, I feel like Shrek!

10. “I’m a cool mom.”

Wait, this doesn’t apply. Cool Mom isn’t even a thing… In fact, it’s a total oxymoron.

***

Oh, you thought you were done with Mean Girls? Think again. Motherhood is its own high school lunchroom, and equally hard to navigate. The good news is when you become a mom, you are automatically upgraded to Queen Bee. (The kids are just our little workers). So hop in, biotch. We are going to the playground. And by the way…

On Wednesdays, we wear pink.

This post originally appeared on Mom Babble.

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Julianne Moore On Success And Why She ‘Absolutely’ Considers Herself A Feminist

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Julianne Moore just won her first Oscar two weeks ago and it doesn’t look like she’s slowing down any time soon.

The 54-year-old actress and children’s author currently has three films in the works, is an ambassador for the L’Oreal Paris Women of Worth campaign and she’s raising two teenagers with her husband Bart Freundlich. She’s just a bit busy.

julianne moore lorealMoore with Eva Longoria, Andie MacDowell, Aimee Mullins and Diane Keaton at the 2014 L’Oreal Paris Women of Worth event.

Moore moved around a lot before her rise to stardom in the the 1990s. She was born at the Fort Bragg army installation in North Carolina and lived in eight different states before moving to Germany during high school, where she discovered her love of theater. She graduated from Boston University in 1983 with a BFA in Theater.

Her breakout role came in 1997 with the drama “Boogie Nights,” for which she earned her first Academy Award nomination. Moore starred in other big hits such as the 1998 comedy “The Big Lebowski,” 2011’s “Crazy, Stupid, Love” alongside Steve Carell, and more recently, in “Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1″ in 2014 This year, Moore earned the Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Role for her performance in in “Still Alice,” a story about a woman who’s diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s Disease.

This past winter, Moore participated as an ambassador for the L’Oreal Paris Women of Worth campaign, which recognizes 10 remarkable women who are making an impact in their communities. Alongside other ambassadors including Eva Longoria, Blake Lively and Diane Keaton, Moore introduced one of the 10 inspirational women honored at L’Oreal’s December 2014 event. This year she’ll be back to introduce one of the 2015 honorees. L’Oreal Paris is currently calling for nominations for the 2015 Women of Worth.

Moore spoke with The Huffington Post about the awesome women of worth she’s met through L’Oreal, how she defines success and her thoughts on feminism.

How would you define success?

Success is personal. I think you feel successful when you’re doing something well that you enjoy. And that can be anything. It doesn’t have to be something that’s paid, it can be something that you really love doing. It can involve your family, it can involve your work, but it’s just the feeling that you’re accomplishing something that you want to accomplish.

By that definition do you consider yourself successful?

Yes, right now I definitely do! I feel very fortunate to have been able to support myself doing work that I love. It doesn’t feel like work to me. And I also have a great family and that’s what I wanted. That was something that I had really hoped to accomplish. So I feel great about that.

acceptanceMoore introducing Rachel Jackson-Bramwell, one of L’Oreal’s 2014 Women of Worth, at the December 2014 event.

I know you have a young daughter yourself — what advice would you give to young girls growing up right now?

Well, some advice I’d give to young men growing up — and I think it’s important not to be divisive about that — what advice I’d give to both of my kids, I have a 17-year-old and an almost 13-year-old, I’d say I’d want them to find the things that they enjoy doing. To tell them to open themselves up to possibilities and follow their interests and see where their interests lie.

Feminism and the debate over what the term feminist means has been a huge topic of conversation lately. Do you consider yourself a feminist?

Absolutely I consider myself a feminist. I think a feminist is the same thing as a humanist. A feminist is someone who wants gender equality and I think that’s important for all of us right now.

I was actually at the L’Oreal Women of Worth event this past fall and I was hoping you could tell me a little bit about the campaign and what it’s like being a spokesperson?

It’s cool right?

Amazing! I was blown away by the amount of inspirational women.

It really is an amazing campaign. This was my first year with the campaign and I think I felt the same way that you did, I was very very impressed with the differences these women are making in their lives and the lives in their communities. They’re people who saw a need somewhere and found a way to really help others, often brought on by either something they were experiencing themselves or sometimes something they observed. It’s really a lesson in how every individual can make a tremendous difference by caring and doing.

julianne mooreMoore and me at the 2014 Women of Worth event. (We ran into each other on the bathroom line!)

What do you think are the big issues women are facing? What’s holding us back from gender equality?

Oh my goodness.

I understand that’s a pretty big question.

[Laughs] Yes! What do you think is holding us back from gender equality?!

I think that if we could answer that we wouldn’t be struggling with it. I think just talking about it is what’s most important. I get this question a lot about whether or not this kind of inequality is endemic to show business and I’m like, of course it’s not. We’re talking about what’s happening all over the world. Just the fact that people are acknowledging that this exists is a step in the right direction.

What’s next for you?

Well I have a movie coming out called “Freeheld,” it’s about the women who changed the domestic partnership laws in the state of New Jersey and I made that movie with Ellen Page. It’s probably coming out in the fall, based on the documentary on the same name. And then I’m shooting a movie for Becca Miller, a comedy with Greta Gerwig and Ethan Hawke and Bill Hader.

This interview has been edited and condensed.

Head over to L’Oreal to nominate an inspiring woman who is making powerful changes in her community to be one of this year’s Women of Worth.