O.J. Simpson Granted Parole

A Nevada parole board granted O.J. Simpson’s request for early release from prison, where the former NFL running back has been serving time for a 2007 robbery. What do you think?

Lovelorn App Aches To Know Your Location

NEW YORK—Languishing without the knowledge of your whereabouts, a lovelorn app was reportedly aching Friday to know your location. “Will you grant permission to access your current location?” the app pleaded, desperately trying to entice you with the promise of a superior user experience, one that would have full GPS capability if only you showed yourself just for a moment. “Note that turning off Location Services limits functionality. Visit your settings, click on Privacy, and switch Location Services to ‘On’ before continuing.” At press time, the suddenly angry app had still not heard from you and vowed to prompt you relentlessly until the day it finally tracked you down.