Melania Trump, Secret Agent


Picture this.

The Russians have a long-range plan to take over the American Presidency, but indirectly. Just make it toothless on the world scene, and have an agent in the White House. Who cares if the U.S. has the greatest military? If our Prez is a complete dunderhead, he’ll be neutralized and nobody will take America seriously. And if he fawns over whoever’s in power in Russia, well, so much the better.

So they start grooming a candidate years in advance. They don’t pick a politician. That might leave tracks and be too obvious. They choose someone totally unexpected: a loudmouth New York businessman. They set him up with a Czech wife who softens him up surreptitiously to admire the Russian way of life. Not that hard to do since he’s a bully anyway. And anyone Russian would be too obvious.


They’re really smart. They make the marriage fail apart in 1991, when Putin supposedly retires from the KGB, and next give their unwitting stooge a real American wife to further disguise what they’re up to. Then they shuffle her off a few years later. His business career is tempestuous but he’s still not really a national figure–yet.

Eventually they throw him more bait: a Slovenian supermodel even more enticing than the Czech agent–she’s a classic femme fatale not even James Bond could resist. Putin’s been President of Russia for one year by this point. Coincidence? They ply him with “secret” information that President Obama isn’t American born and he goes wild, further diminishing his credibility on the world stage.


Wife no. 3 helps strengthen Trump’s ties with Russia. Putin praises him and they develop a bromance–or so he thinks. Egomaniacs can sometimes be easily manipulated.

Melania suggests her husband proclaim that legal immigrants might be as dangerous as illegal ones. That’s a perfect way to throw suspicion off herself, as good as having a murky immigration story of her own, or faking her college degree, or making sure her nude photos get into print, or stealing lines from the First Lady. How could anyone suspect her of anything nefarious?

It’s like an Xtreme spin-off of The Americans.

Lev Raphael is the author of 25 books in genres from mystery to memoir that you can find on Amazon.

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