For pure sport I sat down the other day and tried to figure out who the real the Donald is.
Was he Draper? Rumsfeld? Quixote? Corleone? And then it hit me!
Eureka! Besides being all of them he is literally Donald Duck!
I mean I knew and had already accepted the fact that the Donald is an animated cartoon with the same amount of political experience and credibility but the comparisons were too huge to ignore.
Plus, I’m willing to bet that 99.99% of Trump supporters show up at fancy events in full Disney regalia.
Okay, now Picture D. Trump as I describe D. Duck.
First the physical similarities are startling.
D. Duck’s feather and orange beak colors are the exactly the same and the celebrated duck’s body are just like Trump’s: an elongated, plump body, and tiny webbed feet.
And I will bet you anything, that when D. Trump is lounging at home, he opts for the very same blue sailor shirt and chapeau.
The timbre of both their voices are identical as well. I would define it as a kind of yell over anyone who is trying to talk squawking.
Now let us dive even deeper.
D. Duck’s dominant personality trait is his short temper.
Many Donald cartoons begin with Donald in a ecstatic mood, until something comes along and ruins his day. His anger is a great cause of suffering in his life. On multiple occasions, it has caused him to get in over his head and lose competitions. (One can only hope).
There are times when he fights to keep his temper, and he mostly sometimes succeeds in doing so albeit temporarily, but he always returns to his normal angry self in the end.
Donald the duck is something of a prankster, and as a result, he can sometimes come across as a bit of a bully, especially in the way he sometimes he treats his nieces and nephews Huey, Duey, Looey, Ivanka, Barron and Tiffany.
As the animator Fred Spencer has put it:The Duck gets a big kick out of imposing on other people or annoying them, but he immediately loses his temper when the tables are turned. In other words, he can dish it out, but he can’t take it —especially if it’s a confrontation from that famed Disney Princess Megyn Kelly.
And just as we cannot understand a thing that D. Duck says, the same pretty much goes for Melania Trump.
Donald the duck, like Donald the Trump, is a prankster, often mean spirited as hell and is also a bit of a show-off. He likes to brag, especially about how skilled he is at something. His love of bragging often leads him to overestimate his abilities, so that when he sets out to make good on his boasts, he gets in over his head, usually to hilarious effect.
The Duckman has a few memorable phrases that he occasionally comes out with in certain situations. He often says, “What’s the big idea!?”. When he has given up on something he’s been trying to do, or something he’s been hoping will happen, he tends to say, “Aw, phooey!”.He greets his friend Daisy, and occasionally women, with, “Hiya, toots!”. And when he’s very excited about something, he usually mutters, “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy…” under his breath.
And he has lots of enemies and is often in direct competition with Mickey Mouse—who can easily be played in a pinch by Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio or best of all, Jeb(!).
So basically the people who love and support the Donald are getting the kind of entertainment value that you would pretty much expect that they would want.
I’m sure that many if not all of them believe to their core that Inside Out was a documentary, The Little Mermaid is an actual, walking challenged person and Donald Trump would make the best President ever.
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