Pablo Andreu: "Marriage-y" Same-Sex Civil Unions Proposed

Fearing the ramifications of the same-sex marriage bill in New York, Republicans in other states are proposing “marriage-y” same-sex civil unions as a preemptive measure against potential same-sex marriage bills in their own states.

Marriage-y same-sex civil unions would be identical to marriage except for the name, providing homosexual couples with tax breaks and other legal protections afforded by marriage.

“What can be more like marriage than these marriage-y unions?” said Senator Kelly Ayotte, a Republican from New Hampshire, one of the states that already recognizes civil unions for gay couples. “I mean, marriage is in the actual word. That’s just as good as marriage.”

Proponents of same-sex marriage question the logic behind marriage-y same-sex civil unions.

“If you’re going to call it ‘marriage-y,’ why don’t you just call it marriage?” said Michael Cole-Schwartz, spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign, a gay rights organization. “That’s like eating a steak but calling it steak-y food. It tastes the same but you sound like an idiot ordering it.”

A Gallup poll released in October of 2010 showed that 53 percent of Americans now support same-sex marriage. In spite of changing public opinion, Republicans maintain that marriage should be exclusive to man and woman.

“Honestly, people, you don’t want marriage,” said Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey, addressing the gay community. “It’s such a hassle and a bore. Marriage is like a big, ole heterosexual fun-killer. You guys — and women, I’m not judging — are the lucky ones.”

Originally featured in the Daily Pygmy.

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