“I want to thank all of you for coming here today and for volunteering your time to help a very worthy candidate. Before sending you out into the field, I’d like to spend a few minutes to make sure we’re all on the same page.
“You sir, in the first row, what’s your name?”
“Tell me, Edgar, how are you feeling right now?
“Wrong answer, Edgar. You may not know it, but you actually feel angry. And if you don’t feel angry, you should. Do you know why you should feel angry, Edgar?
“Because there are tax and spend politicians and bureaucrats in Washington. That’s why you should feel angry, Edgar.”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
“Let me see if I can help you. What if I told you that Grover Norquist saw Nancy Pelosi kicking a dog?”
“That would be disturbing.”
“That’s not what I’m going for, Edgar. Wouldn’t it make you angry? Wouldn’t it make you want to throw out every tax and spend politician and bureaucrat in Washington?”
“No, but it might make me want to ask Nancy Pelosi if she kicked a dog.”
“You’re not getting it, Edgar. Let me alter the facts. If I told you that Grover said Nancy Pelosi had that big phony smile on her face when she kicked the dog, wouldn’t that make you want to throw out every tax and spend politician and bureaucrat in Washington?”
“I think I’d still like to talk to Nancy Pelosi.”
“And that would be your answer even though Nancy Pelosi is from San Francisco? You’re telling us that you wouldn’t be angry if a tax and spend politician with a homosexual agenda kicked a dog? Is that what you’re saying, Edgar?
“I don’t think so…”
“I’m going to ask you to sit down, Edgar, so I can talk with someone who may have a clearer idea of the threat we’re facing. You, sir, with the Mohawk and the ‘Glenn Beck Rocks’ tattoo. What’s your name?
“Some people call me Bruce–but only once. You can call me Harley.”
Where are you from, Harley?”
“And are you angry, Harley?”
“And why are you angry?”
“Because there are tax and spend politicians and bureaucrats in Washington.”
“And what do you want to do to the tax and spend politicians and bureaucrats in Washington, Harley?”
“Kick their dogs.”
“No, I mean what do you think the people of America should do about the politicians and bureaucrats in Washington.”
“Throw them out and kick their dogs.”
“Does everyone here understand why Harley’s got mostly the right attitude? Why we should all be angry? Yes, you, in the back. You are?”
“I just want to say I’m angry too and I agree totally with Harley–except the part about the dogs. If we don’t get rid of the tax and spend politicians and bureaucrats in Washington, they’re going to tax and spend us into the ground.”
“You go, Edna.”
“They’re going to tax us and throw money at stem cells, even though stem cells have no hands and can’t catch the money.”
“And they’re going to force us to keep the 17th Amendment, even though the Constitution says we have the right to decide that we don’t have the right to decide on who gets elected.”
“You’ve said a mouthful, Edna.”
“And they’re going to keep Social Security and Medicare, even though everyone knows that they should be abolished because it’s just more big government in our lives and that keeping old people alive is expensive.”
“You might want to dial that one back a little, Edna, but I think everyone here understands that you’re angry. I see someone raising his hand there in the middle of the audience.”
“Yeah. I’m Bill and I’m angry.”
“Hi, Bill. What would you like to say?”
“Well, I think it would helpful if we made a list of what we’re all angry about and then went down the list with the candidate and had him tell us what he’s going to do about the things we’re angry about and then tell the people we talk to about voting for him that that’s what he’s going to do if he’s elected.”
“Bill, I really appreciate your suggestion, but I’m not sure you’re following the discussion. I think everyone here, perhaps with the exception of Edgar, believes that there’s one thing we’re angry about, and that’s the tax and spend politicians and bureaucrats in Washington. And it’s pretty clear we all agree that the solution to that problem is to throw them out.”
“And when we throw them out and our candidate goes to Washington, what is he going to do?”
“I hate to be testy, but this is elementary information you should have picked up at any of our rallies. Our man is going to go to Washington and he isn’t going to be just another tax and spend politician.”
“Well, that tells me what he isn’t going to be, but what is he going to be?”
“Bill, he’s going to be the guy who helped you understand just how much anger can accomplish.”